attn: Silver Yaris Westbound Queensway, Parkdale Exit @ 12:05am

I can only assume that your choice of motor vehicle, coupled with driving in the middle of the night with no external lights and the internal dome light on, was some sort of passive attempt to end your life.

I recommend you seek help.

They Tore Up Bank Street!

I was walking down Bank Street from Silver Snail back to my car and saw an old black dude checking out the prices of a tanning salon.

attn: 417 West Between Kanata & Nepean @ 10:05am

This message is to the black Ford Focus that was in the middle lane, apparently trying very hard not to let the flatbed tow truck merge into the centre lane to make room for the Eagleson onramp.  You then proceeded to merge into the outside lane behind me and tailgate me as I drove behind someone else, and when the lanes opened up enough for you to pass, you didn’t.

I just wanted to say what’s up, because you were kinda hot.

attn: Heron Road @ 1050am

To the Nissan Sentra driving for three kilometres with your right indicator flashing while dragging a traffic cone:

LOL

attn: Bronson @ Queensway overpass – 2:38pm

#1 I’m sure giving money to the homeless fill you with an enormous sense of well-being.  However while you were fulfilling your daily good Samaritan act today you held up 20+ cars backed up in the outside lane of Bronson who were waiting to turn left onto the Queensway.  Well done.

#2 We understand that you’re special, and more important than the 20+ rest of us waiting in the outside lane to turn left and get on the Queensway, however when you cut me off to jump the line, and I lean on the horn, don’t freak out on your horn and viciously give me the finger like I’m the person that did something wrong merely by driving straight and having to hit the brakes as you rudely pulled in front of me.

attn: Ford Motor Company

http://www.ford.co.uk/Cars/NewFocusRS

For the love of God why can we not get this car in North America?  Maybe then the Focus wouldn’t be such a laughing stock!  For those too lazy to click the link, I’ll break it down for you:

13.4L/100KM, max speed 262kph, 0 to 100kph in 5.9 seconds, 50-100kph in 5.3 seconds.  2.5L 5-cylinder engine rocking a turbocharger paired with a 6 speed manual transmission helping you gear through the 300 BHP.

attn: 10:15AM Terry Fox Mergers

Stopped on my way to work this morning to get some gas at my favourite station across from Centrum (85.5 btw).  Pulled up behind a beat-to-hell SUV and some other car as they were merging onto the Eastbound Queensway and sat behind them as they attempted to merge onto the highway at 60 km/h.

It’s actually more dangerous to attempt a merge at that speed then it would be to merge at 110 km/h!